Friday, January 11, 2013

Friday Flash: Watching, Waiting

 

Today's #fridayflash is inspired by "Nightmare at the Freak Show" in The Nightmare Collection. Here is what happened to Gretchen.

Watching, Waiting

Gretchen pressed the candle’s wick against the dying embers in the fire.

Come on, burn.

After a moment, the flame snatched the wick. She cupped her palm around the flickering light and skirted toward the window. The fire illuminated her three fingers and thumb, the one finger lost in an accident when she was a child.

A chill seeped through the window. Darkness had settled over the cabin, and she cocked her head to listen for her husband. Soft snoring continued from the bedroom. She lowered the candle to the nearby table and pressed her hands against the cold glass.

Trees loomed in the distance. Starlight peeped through the inky black blanket of sky. Was he still out there? Her David. She waited for word of his capture for many years. He’d bitten off her finger—by accident, of course—and then killed her father and several other men—not by accident. She didn’t blame him. He’d been cruelly captured and chained up for years by her own father. She wanted to understand his pain, his fear. She wanted to trust him to find his humanity.

He wasn’t a monster. She would never believe what they called him. Her eyes closed, and tears burned behind her eyelids.

The snoring had stopped.

Oh, David, why?

“My sweet, what are you doing out of bed? You’ll catch your death of cold.” Her husband padded over to her, his strong arms embracing her.

She leaned against him and sucked in a shuddering breath. The tears remained unshed. “I couldn’t sleep.”

He pressed his lips against her earlobe, hot and wet. A shiver raced along her spine. His hands ran over her cotton nightgown. “Come back to bed.”

Nothing was outside. David was gone, as was her father.

I won’t forget, she vowed.

She reached over to the candle and blew it out. The smoke twirled and ticked her nose. She took her husband’s hand and kissed it. “It’s cold out. Warm me.”

23 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

If only she could've helped David.

Al Diaz said...

You really caught my interest with this piece. I wanted to read more! :)

Christine Rains said...

I like it. I want more too! I do wonder what sort of life Gretchen would live after what happened.

Julie Flanders said...

This was so haunting to read. I really loved that Freak Show story and the character of Gretchen. Interesting to catch up with her as an adult. Great job, Cherie!

Larry Kollar said...

A great somber tone here. It makes me wonder if David might be her husband, somehow. I'd definitely like to see more of this one.

Rebecca Green Gasper said...

Beautiful writing!

L.G. Smith said...

Very atmospheric piece. A little Bronte-esque even. Well done.

E.J. Wesley said...

So creepy and atmospheric! Just love it. :-)

E.J. Wesley said...

Ha! I stole LG's word and hadn't even read the other comments. Great minds! :-D

M Pax said...

It is very lovely. I always love good atmosphere. Now I'm curious as to all that's going on with David.

Cathy Keaton said...

Oh, really cool snippet! Does seem like this David is a troubled soul, or something. Nice excerpt. :)

Carol Kilgore said...

Ooh, I like! Twisted 3am thoughts. I really want to know more about David.
I like your new look :)

Lexa Cain said...

The writing is lovely and the atmosphere very affective. I really enjoyed the vignette. :-)

Jack said...

Very well written. It got my attention right off, which doesn't happen often with me.

DMS said...

You definitely made me curious. Very intriguing! I want to know more and I read it twice. :)
~Jess

Tyrean Martinson said...

Beautiful . . . I love how you keep building up the world of these characters, and really looking at the layers of humanity for each character, even David.

Shannon Lawrence said...

Well written. Eerie setting of the scene, sad, and you've already introduced this tension and secrets.

Shannon at The Warrior Muse

Rachna Chhabria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachna Chhabria said...

Very well written. Eager to read more.

Misha Gericke said...

Such a bittersweet scene.

Michael Pierce said...

I want to know more about David and their relationship as children. Great piece!

Chuck Allen said...

This really pulled me in. I would love to hear more about what is happening with David.

sjp said...

very haunting indeed, a piece full of tender hope