“The Persean Ritual”
Linia focused
upon the glowing blue light seeping from underneath the door. Soon, it would be
her turn to enter. The thought made her mouth feel like she’d swallowed her
shirt. Her parents hovered beside her. Mom rubbed circles along her back. Dad
stood with a lop-sided grin upon his face. Her antennae drooped lower into her
blond hair.
“Does it
hurt?” Her question rose barely above a whisper.
“Oh, no,
sweetheart.” Dad stroked her hair as the light disappeared from the door.
“There is a
quick jolt, but it goes away.” Mom stopped rubbing my back.
A quick jolt.
Linia’s heart skipped a beat. Her fingers went up to the gemstone within her choker.
“Do I have to do this?”
“It’ll be
fine.” Dad’s words carried no reassurance to his thirteen-year-old daughter.
The door slid
open.
She would’ve
run for it, if her parents hadn’t pushed her forward. Two steps. One more, and
she entered the darkened room. She glanced behind her, but the door had already
closed, her parents on the other side. No, no!
A man dressed
in white stood in the center of the room. “Come closer, child.”
Her back
pressed against the cool walls. She shook her head.
“It won’t
hurt.” With a gloved hand, he motioned her toward him. When she didn’t move, he
smiled. “I can wait all day, but I don’t know if everyone else will be so kind.”
They all do
it, she told herself, but she found no comfort in this sterile room. She
remained in her spot for several minutes. The man with the gloves waited for
her. Ugh, she couldn’t take the waiting any more than she could take the fear
of what would happen. She stumbled from the wall and stood before him.
“Very good.”
He lifted up a pair of metal pliers. “It’s a couple snips, and we’ll twist the
gemstone around. Hold still.”
She held her
breath and closed her eyes. Metal clipped loudly in her ears. The gemstone
shifted against her neck. Then, electricity jolted through her body. She
stiffened as a soft cry burst from her lips.
“Open your
eyes, child.”
Her eyelids
parted. The room was bathed in blue light. Her body buzzed with her life
rhythms as the blue pulsed with her heartbeat. Amazing.
“Now turn the
gemstone back into place.”
Her fingers
felt the smooth stone, and she shifted it back into place. The light vanished,
leaving only the white room and the man in white before her. Shivers of the
enormity of what had happened passed along her spine.
“You now have
the power of life and death. Use your Persean gifts wisely, child.”
15 comments:
Interesting. I'm intrigued as to what she'd use them for. :-)
The tension in this was great! I was really worried for her, and I'm intrigued by the end. This sort of story makes me want to know more about the characters and what happens to them next.
Wow, what a twist! I had no idea what was going to happen to her, at first I thought maybe she would be transferred into a newborn human or something. But the power of life and death? I think I'd be reluctant too.
Great flash fiction! Is this tied in to your Defying Gravity story?
Oooo! I don't usually read this sort of stuff but that definitely pulled me in. The pacing was perfect and I was getting super anxious on her behalf. I like the way you were able to let us in on her parent's personalities as well. This was really good.
I didn't read the title so At first I thought she was about to go through the security at an airport. I was way off. Will we see more of Linia? What a great gift. I'd use it to save my babies.
Ooh, very exciting :) Good work!
Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)
Wow, had me from the first word to the last.
Wow, that is intense. I love that last line. The way she waited in the hall, the man with the gloves. It all was a thrill!
Love this beginning! It's so intense and awe-inspiring.
Oh, I want to know what happens next!
Very well done. I felt for the poor child.
Excellent piece of flash fiction!
I really enjoyed this, it was just full of tension. Will there be more? (She asks, hopefully) :-)
What an awesome gift... great flash fiction.
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