Today's Day 2 of the Flash Fiction Blogfest. You have until Wednesday to post your entries, if you haven't done so already. Here's my entry to the blogfest. It's a continuation from my short story "Eclipse" found in The Best of Raven and the Writing Desk.
Between
Dark and Light
Lightning flashed and killed the
Sorceress Mordetta.
Despite the passing weeks since that
fateful day, Raven could still see that murderous bolt. Kirken, the Magician, had
complete control over the city now, and Raven had helped him.
But not anymore.
Her fingers tightened around the sword’s
handle. Her father had not only created this sword but died from its sharp
bite. But why did the Magician have it? Kirken had told her the Sorceress had
stolen the sword and killed her parents, but now Raven wasn’t so sure. How else
would he have the same sword?
Raven stole the light, and the
castle plummeted into darkness. Her feet padded catlike down the halls. Electricity
tingled throughout her body as she reached Kirken’s study where his lone candlelight
shone bright against her self-made night.
“Where did this come from?” She
steadied the sword—end pointed toward Kirken—and released her magical hold on
the light.
He glanced toward her and the sword
before he turned the next page in his book.
“Tell me.” Raven had expected him to
be surprised, shocked, even possibly defensive, but his cold indifference
caused her to shiver.
“You’ve made up your mind about me,
have you not?” His finger caressed the paper.
She had. The Magician was supposed
to be their savior from the cruel Sorceress, but Raven knew he just wanted to
kill off the competition. He used her, whether or not he had a hand in her
parents’ murders. The sword lifted, and her arms trembled under its heavy
weight. She had been a thief, but Kirken had created a killer.
Light exploded and blinded Raven
before she could deliver the final blow. The people would be kept in the dark
about their new ruler.
Raven had failed.
Now click here to see the other participants.
39 comments:
I just entered today! And I'm so excited I did. I use to hate flash fiction but I think I'm getting use to it now.
Thanks for hosting such a cool fest/hop!
Raven sounds amazing and powerful. Hopefully she hasn't really failed.
OH MY WORD! That is such a shocking ending.
A lot of emotional impact in this, Cherie! The ending is gripping.
And thanks for hosting this fun blogfest!!
a dire situation! love the names! nice flash!
Oh, I enjoyed this!
It's a dramatic ending to it, and a mysterious sort of situation to go with it.
I love this story! I'd love to learn more about the characters and how they got to where they are :)
Great story with intriguing characters.
Oh man. I didn't see that coming. I like Kirken's nonchalance, just sitting indifferent to a weapon that he knows won't hurt him. Well done.
This is great flash. Loved it.
Open ended leaving us unsure of her fate.
Thanks for hosting the blogfest. Mine is up.
What an ironic ending for a piece of "Flash" fiction. Great job! :)
Sad she failed- but great last line.
So much suspense here! Your writing is great.
Thanks for the contest.
Raven stealing the light reminds me of one of Tolkien's creatures, Ungoliante, who could weave darkness around itself in thick spider webs. I always thought that was really cool. I can't decide if Raven is a good person or not in this passage. It's great writing. Thanks for doing this blogfest :) It's a lot of fun.
Knew you'd have one of the best entries!
Any time lightning flashes and kills someone, that's awesome.
I hope she hasn't really failed. I remember Raven from your earlier flash . . .I think.
Nice job!
And thanks for hosting this fest!
Love it! Excellent bit of conflict :) There's some tough competition in this blogfest.
Very nice. I loved the line "Raven stole the light" It has such a nice image to it.
Great job with this. The writing is great and the stakes are high.
Great story. But I was really hoping Raven would win.
Awesome story! It's dramatic and tense. Plus, you write fantasy so very well. :)
Thanks for hosting this blogfest! Very sad and dramatic story.
Allison (Geek Banter)
Wow, what a powerful ending! Very dark story, I loved it.
Very original!
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
That was a great flash, thanks for sharing!
I signed up for the blogfest late, hopefully I can get something written tonight or tomorrow! ;)
I'm terrible at writing flash fiction but LOVE reading other people's! Great entry.
And thank you for visiting my blog to share my momentous news.
Cut and paste much? LOL I'm just teasing you. I think it's funny you visited all the entries and posted that you'd be reading it later, etc. :) *hugs
Really love that you effectively crammed so much back story and character into such a short story. Definitely added to the drama of the last few lines.
You could really feel the hopelessness of the situation once Kirken began to speak and, as if bored, casually caressed that page.
That was powerful!
Thanks so much for hosting the fest. It has been a lot of fun
Awesome. I'm going to echo Diego on the back story there. I love how much you packed into your 300 words.
Good stuff! She can just haunt his sorry butt now.
Thanks for hosting! This sounds like a much bigger story. Very intriguing!
Oh no I wanted her to kill him hehe. Loved it :)
What a wonderful blogfest....loved your story. Have to admit that I was hoping for a HEA. LOL!
Those last three sentences wrap the story up in a powerful way. I especially liked the progression of *light* *blinding* Raven, which would leave the people in the *dark*. I inferred that this is the end of poor Raven but I hope I'm wrong.
Some Dark Romantic
Your lines "Raven stole the light, and the castle plummeted into darkness" and "where his lone candlelight shone bright against her self-made night" were not only brilliant images, but reflected the amount of power that Raven possessed, which only further provides the reader with a false sense of her invinsibility... leaving us completely unprepared for her to fail. Great set-up for a surprising ending.
I can definitely see the story continuing! Great story and thanks for doing the blogfest!
I loved this piece. What an ending. :)
Post a Comment