Monday, March 5, 2012

Campaign Challenge #2

 

Rach gave us a very challenging challenge this time. To see the picture prompts as well as the other entries, click here.

THE CHALLENGE
Do one or more of the following:

  1. Write a pitch/logline for a book based on the prompts (less than 100 words)
  2. Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the prompts
  3. Write a poem with a twist using the prompts as inspiration (in less than 200 words)
  4. Write a story/poem in five sentences, each sentence based on one of the prompts
  5. Write a poem/flash fiction piece (in less than 200 words) about the water pear *without* using the words “pear”, “spoon”, or “droplet”.
For added difficulty/challenge:
  • Complete at least three of the above activities and tie them all together with a common theme (feel free to either state the theme in your post or leave us to guess what it might be)
  • Write in a genre that is not your own
  • Ask Challenge entrants to critique your writing. After the Challenge closes, you may wish to re-post your revised piece(s), and I’ll include a Linky List at the bottom of this post for those wishing more feedback on their revisions (note: revised entries will not be judged, so please label clearly your original post and your revisions. Please do not offer critique unless someone asks for it, as per the usual blogging conventions. If you do ask for critique, make sure you ask for it clearly so people know you want it, and please be prepared to receive feedback that may not be 100% glowing. If you are a critiquer, please be tactful and courteous, and remember to provide positives as well as negatives.)
I used the prompt pictures/words 1, 2, 4, and 5 and option two. And if you like, please critique my work. :)


Gritty rust clung to my shirt from the bridge support, but I couldn't move away with my injured leg. Bright red blood trailed along the wound. Little Jimmy used to have a coat the same color, but that was before I'd left for war.

"What were you thinking?" Her words singed and swirled like flames.

"You shouldn't have come after me." I poked through the tattered debris of our lives. Trash littered the river's embankment, and I saw Little Jimmy searching for food in the garbage. No, he wasn't really there. I wasn't there. None of this shit was useful anymore. Just like me.

Her fingers grasped my arm, the nails creating tiny crescent marks. Damp hair dripped upon my skin. No, it was her tears. I should've felt guilty, but sadness and despair had squashed my desire to please her. How could she love me after what I did? Her grip tightened, and I relished the pain. "I will always come for you."


And if you like it, I'm #27 on the list.

31 comments:

Morgan said...

Whoa. I really enjoyed this. Emotionally charged and way to fit in all those prompts. You are fabulous, Cherie! ;)

Nancy Thompson said...

Great sense of urgency here. Nice job. Especially since it was such a difficult challenge. Or was it just me who found this one so hard?! I'm entry #5.

Christy Farmer said...

Nice set up here, Cherie. There's more to this story :-)

Alleged Author said...

I have to agree with Morgan on the sentiment that this is emotionally charged. I know I am not a crusader, but I'm checking out entries. I like this one a lot!

Ashley Nixon said...

Very nice! There are a lot emotions going on--and so much confusion! But there was a very good balance of emotion and imagery! Great job!

Kevin Hiatt said...

Really like the emotion and turmoil created in your piece. The confusion works well, but I have to admit that I had to read the 3rd paragraph a couple of times, and even then I'm still not 100% sure I get who's there or not. However, it still feels like it fits with the emotion of the piece. Nice work.

Kevin (#19)

Kevin Hiatt said...

Really like the emotion and turmoil created in your piece. The confusion works well, but I have to admit that I had to read the 3rd paragraph a couple of times, and even then I'm still not 100% sure I get who's there or not. However, it still feels like it fits with the emotion of the piece. Nice work.

Kevin (#19)

Vikki said...

Oooooo, very intriguing....I want to know more :o)

Vikki (no 26) xx

Tara Tyler said...

i feel the desperation!
great job!

Sarah Pearson said...

I thought this was quite a difficult challenge, but you've done it justice. As usual :-)

Christine Rains said...

Vivid and intense. Well done!

Fairview said...

I really enjoyed this piece. Especially loved the last line. "I will always come for you." Loved the nails leaving tiny crescent marks.

Siv Maria said...

Nice work. Great dialogue with a sense of urgency. I enjoyed this very much.

JEFritz said...

This was really good. It was well written and intense. You really made the prompts work.

Julia King said...

Loved the end, beautiful. Great job pulling the prompts together.

Jennifer Fischetto said...

Lots of urgency. I want to know more. :) Good job.

Samantha said...

This is so intense! Excellent job :D

Rachel Morgan said...

Beautiful writing and an ending that speaks of the deeper connection between these two characters: "I will always come for you." Loved it :-)

Gwen said...

I feel like this is the middle of a story, which means there's a beginning and an end you have yet to share with us! You're MC's story sounds so interesting.

#38

meradeth said...

Excellent! Totally interesting and makes me curious about the characters :)

Melissa said...

Lots of emotion and imagery - I just wish I understood more of what was going on. All in all, nice job.

Melissa Maygrove #14

Nick Wilford said...

This was a haunting piece. I would love to know more details. I'd like to know what he did - going off to war to forget your past life is a classic setup. Great job!

Rek said...

Really intense piece, want to read more definitely, specially what happened to change their lives so drastically,

C.M.Brown said...

Nice writing, emotionally touching piece! Well done!

Sylvia van Bruggen said...

Hi! I am one of the judges for the second challenge. I am happy to announce you are through to Round Two! Congratulations :D

Susan Roebuck said...

You deserve to go through to the second round. Excellent story with the makings of a much longer work.

Deniz Bevan said...

Aw, how sad! I hope everything works out for them.

Happy belated birthday!

cbwentworth said...

Oooo, that last line gave me goosebumps! Great job!

David P. King said...

Nice one! I enjoyed the read. :)

Traci Kenworth said...

I agree!! Nicely done!!

The Capillary said...

This was awesome! Loved it!