Friday, January 13, 2012

#fridayflash "The Surface"

The Surface

Alezandros held his older sister’s hand. He glanced behind him. The darkness of the Underground nearly swallowed his parents, but he caught their silhouettes within it. Up ahead, thin light illuminated the entrance.

“Come on, Zanny. You’re too slow.” Kaire tugged on his hand and marched towards the light.

“Go on, son. It’ll be a treat to see where we once all lived.” Father shooed them forward.

“Why don’t we—” His question was lost in the amazement of the surface.

A fresh breeze rustled his darkened locks. The strands seemed to recognize the air and waved in greeting. He had felt the generated air within the tunnels and their home, but nothing like this. It was cold too, nearly frigid. It burned his lungs, but it made him feel more alive. The fear drifted away with each icy breath.

The light came from the weak sun in the sky. He’d heard about the sun and how Medusa was too far from it now. The sky swirled in blues and grays. He’d never seen such colors except on fabric.

In the distance, rocks poked up from the ground. No, not rocks. Buildings. It was where they used to live before the asteroid. Before everything changed, including the climate, plants, animals. Everything.

“That’s really the city, isn’t it? Do you think we’ll find things still there?” Kaire’s voice rose in pitch with each word, her green eyes bright.

“Yes, that’s the city,” Mother said, stroking Kaire’s thick strands. “Now you two need to stay with us. We’ll show you around, but it’s still a dangerous place.”

“Will we get to see where grandma and grandpa lived?” He’d never met them, but he heard the stories, how they bravely fought for a right at a better life on their neighboring planet Persea.

“Yes, we’ll take you.” Father smiled, a genuine smile that made Alezandros’s heart sing.

“Race you, Zanny!” Kaire took off in a loping sprint.

For a second, he imagined what Medusa must’ve looked like before the disaster. It must’ve been beautiful. Then, he ran to catch up, but he knew he never would. She was older and stronger. He would still try. And at the moment, he didn’t care if he won or lost.

He was on the surface.


Anonymous said...


FARfetched said...

I don't use the word poignant very often (or ever, up to now) but that's the right word to describe this one. Loved it!

Michael Offutt, Visitor from the Future said...

I like it. Your names are something else too. I've never heard those names before...entirely original. Well I'd heard Medusa before but the

Nicole Zoltack said...

I agree with Michael - I love the names you use!

John Wiswell said...

Nutty and surreal. The city will be dark before long.

M Pax said...

I really liked how his hair knew the air and waved in greeting. Great line. I really like this story.

Ciara said...

Wow, that was so well written. I loved everything about it including character names and word choice.

Christine Rains said...

This is fantastic! Especially since I just read your story, so it's fresh in my mind. I like Alezandros even more now.

Rusty Webb said...

Now that is a powerful story. So much said in so few words. I'd buy that.

Talli Roland said...

Very evocative, Cherie!

The Golden Eagle said...

I love the atmosphere of the story. :)

Great writing!

Anonymous said...

I like stories with unique names. I thought of it, but since I have a lot of characters I thought it better to use simple names.

Peggy Eddleman said...

I especially loved the ending! That last paragraph was awesome.