This morning on my way to work, I was listening to GLEE Volume 3 soundtrack, and it made me realize how much I do miss the theatre, particularly musicals. Every week that GLEE is on, I watch it and think back to my own experience with the theatre. A lot of the time, I wish life could be a musical and people would just burst out into song. Then again, I think of all those bad singers out there and change my mind. *laughs*
Anyway, GLEE got me to thinking about why I enjoyed acting so much. I am quite shy, and when I would audition for plays/musicals, I was scared to death. I was so nervous that I felt sick to my stomach to stand up there in front of a director and whoever else in the room. My auditions were hesitant and definitely not the best. Yet, a magical thing happened once I was chosen for a role. Most of my nerves and the butterflies in my stomach vanished. I had that validation that I was good enough to obtain a role. I came to life on the stage. Acting was a drug that made me feel alive, even though I was only "alive" through a character. I could be anyone I wanted to up there, within reason.
As I blogged about before, I've given up acting. I really don't have the time for it, and I think I would be way too nervous to try again for that audition. I've realized something, though. I get the same thrill and alive feeling when I write. I think that is why I enjoy writing so much. I become the characters that I'm writing. I feel alive, and it is a high to write. I can tell when I haven't written much in a month, which has been lately this year. I don't feel right. It's like a part of me has been stripped away, and I'm not quite myself. I need writing like I used to need singing/acting. Maybe I just trade one "drug" for another, but I don't really care. *laughs* Writing is good for me.
I still get butterflies when I submit a new project. When I find that email that holds a rejection or acceptance, I feel half-way sick to my stomach. Then, if it is an acceptance, I feel validated, like I can really do this. Edits are like rehearsals, and I feel the fluttering of the butterflies once again on that release date...that performance night. Then, the story steps out on the stage, so to speak, and I feel alive. I come to life.
So, this month, I still have many edits to do. It might be a low writing month again, and I'm sad about that, but I'm going to try to work harder to write more often. Bring up those word counts because I need the writing drug.
On another note, today is the first of June. I haven't done much in May when it comes to writing or it feels like it. I did my second edits for Once Upon a December Nightmare. I edited another chapter of Virtuoso. I finished one short story, started another, and I wrote an advertisement for the Roanoke Higher Education Center's Educational Testing Center. This ad will be feature in our Fall Continuum, since our facility is celebrating its 10th anniversary.
Word Count: 4,812
Submissions still out there: 5
As for June, I hope to finish edits for Virtuoso as well as Once Upon a December Nightmare. I need to finish my short story "The Marriage Program" for Raven and the Writing Desk (story formerly titled "The Reluctant Bride"). I have two WIP novels I need to get back to writing and do edits for The Phoenix Prophetess. I have some short stories I need to go back to and edit again, so I can submit them. Plus, I have an idea for a novella involving shapeshifters (most likely were-mountain lions/pumas/cougars...whatever you want to call them) that will be paranormal romance...maybe to the point of erotica. I haven't completely decided because it is still in the thought/idea stage.
I hope everyone had a great weekend! Wish me luck in getting more writing done. *grins*