Monday, February 11, 2013

Purrsonal Stories: 30 and Single


As Valentine’s Day approaches, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend, fiancĂ©, or husband at Valentine’s Day. I’ve never had a relationship around Valentine’s Day. To be honest, I can probably count the amount of guys I’ve dated on one hand (not including a few long-term internet relationships). I’ve been asked out by guys, but I usually turn them down, especially in the last few years.

The reason why is I like being single 99% of the time.

I like being responsible for myself and my cats. I like coming home and sitting around to watch TV or read. I like being alone after a day of work. And I have to admit it’s really nice to have the bed to myself—when the cats let me have it.

The times I wish I had someone usually revolve around holidays and family functions. Almost all my cousins around my age are married with kids or have steady relationships. Sometimes I wonder if I’m missing out. It’d be nice to have an extra income in the house. Maybe a kid or two. Of course, those are not very good reasons to find a mate. Or perhaps they are, but it might be better to search for one based more on love than financial reasons or a ticking clock.

For now, I’m enjoying being single. I prefer it. It makes life simpler, less complicated. Maybe I’ll consider settling down in the next ten to twenty years.

Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day? I’ll be working. Fun, fun.


Aubrie said...

I think you're doing awesome as you are now. The way the world is, it makes us think that we need these landmarks to be happy: like get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. And I think those things aren't for everybody. I know a bunch of people that are perfectly happy without one or all of those things!

Happy Valentine's Day! I'll be working, too.

M.J. Fifield said...

I don't have plans for Valentine's Day. I have a significant other, but neither of us really care about Valentine's Day. Of course, we've never done anything that I guess would be thought of as traditional.

But as long as we're happy with our situation, it doesn't matter.

And if you're enjoying being single, then that's all that matters too.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

If you enjoy your life right now, why change it?
I'll admit, I was really lonely when I was single. I just thank God my wife said yes.
Nothing special for Valentine's Day. I'd rather tell my wife how much I love her every day of the year.

Unknown said...

If you're enjoying being single for now, then there's no need to get attached, is there! We're not doing anything MAJOR for our first Valentine's day together (at least, I don't think we are!).

Julie Flanders said...

I feel the same way about being single now. I didn't used to, but now I like my routine and enjoy having total control over my house. At this point it's really hard to imagine living with anyone else as I'm so settled LOL.
I know what you mean about holidays though. That is really the only time I think about it.

Tyrean Martinson said...

If you are happy, then be happy.

I remember being single on Valentine's Day and hating it. However ... now that I've been married for a while, I realize that I'm not a huge Valentine's Day celebrator anyway. My husband and I are going to take our daughters to a charity fundraiser that will fund efforts to stop violence against women. A friend of ours is hosting it and it will include dance, poetry, and singing performances.
It's not exactly a "high romance" type event, but we know we can take our daughters to it because we know it's going to be kid-friendly despite the serious subject matter. Plus, it's an issue we care about.

So, enjoy being you and enjoy your life. Hug those kitties! (ok, I know they usually don't like that, but you know what I mean)

Michael Offutt, Phantom Reader said...

I've never had anyone around for Valentine's either. You can be my bloggy Valentine. A poor substitute for sure but I shall resolve to leave you a link to Hershey's kisses on the 14th and be like "Cherie, you are so worth all this chocolate!"

Jai said...

If you are happy that is all that counts.

I have the best of both worlds. I don't live with my husband. He can be as messy as he wants in his house and I can do what I want in mine.

Christine Rains said...

I agree: if you're happy, that's all that matters. I don't do the whole Valentine's day thing. Well, except for the little guy. They're getting a special treat at school, and we'll be making cupcakes. For me, my treat that day will be the boy staying at school an hour longer so I can be by myself and write! :)

Camille Picott said...

It's funny about Valentine's Day. After being married almost 12 years, V-day is barely even a blip on our radar. And hey, there is nothing wrong wrong with being single and enjoying your life as it is! My husband and I have recently decided to have only one child, the main reason being that we are HAPPY with everything just the way it is. I think it is OKAY to recognize what makes you happy and stick with it, despite what society tells us we should do.

Cathy Keaton said...

Same goes for me, Cherie. I prefer being single to being tied down to someone. I like being alone and always have. Life is WAY simpler and less hectic.

I just like eating the candy on Valentine's Day. ;)

Golden Eagle said...

Nope, no plans for me, either.

As long as you're happy, I don't see any reason it should be otherwise!

Dr Bob Rich said...

And Cherie, because you have avoided having kids, you haven't contributed to the biggest problem on this planet: an infestation of humans.
By the way, when I was little, my surname was Reich too. I wonder if we are related?
Bob Rich

Catherine Stine said...

Single is awesome if you're into it. Happy Valentine's Day!

Nicole Zoltack said...

All that matters is if you are happy. What makes other people happy isn't necessarily going to make you happy.

As for me, probably writing and editing. We might go out on Friday for dinner with the boys (always an adventure!).

Samantha May said...

As long as you're happy and content then there's nothing wrong!

The boyfriend and I had to celebrate early this year (living in separate cities + crazy school/work schedules). Nothing too over the top. Dinner and a little Walking Dead :D

Personally, I'm excited for the 15th when all of the candy goes on sale!

Anonymous said...

We usually celebrate the day before or after a major holiday. We don;t care for crowded restaurants. Give us elbow room and the atmoshphere to dress down any day.

Callie Leuck said...

More and more I seem to be knowing people who are happy being single. And I actually do get it.

I've been dating J for the past 5 years now and we've never been in the same city on V-day. In fact the only time I have ever gone out on V-day was when a group of female friends and I went to see the Vagina Monologues, then went to dinner, then ended up spending the rest of the evening at my house doing henna. Definitely a good way to spend the evening.

J. Whitworth Hazzard said...

You're far better off waiting for what you know you need than try to force something. That way lies heartbreak and disaster.

Cut out the thoughtless middleman and buy yourself something nice. :)

Rachelle Ayala said...

Good idea. Buy yourself something. I told my husband I'm taking his credit card and getting myself a box of chocolate since he won't. So not being single doesn't put me ahead on Valentine's day either. :)